Heaven's Hitman 1

Mr Lazybones in full effect this week, flashing back with you this time with a game review written and forgotten about lo these six years and recalled only this morning whilst waxing nostalgic for... how you say? Entertainment with substance. Painkiller fits the bill. Not yet a believer? Read on...

Note that this is the first half of the review, which apparently is too damn humongous for a single post. The second half is below the jump.

Review by wngl

"Painkiller makes history"

Allow me to start by saying that Painkiller offers what is possibly the sweetest combat tool in the history of first person shooters. It is something out a baroque phantasy, anachronistic and deadly. Whirling talons can be used in melee or at range, with an accompanying coherent beam that fries anything crossing it. To look at it the weapon appears as if it were forged in some 13th century alchemists' lab; the laser lends it a touch of some new Dark Age waiting in the future, when aspects of both past and future will combine.

Painkiller the game is represented by this weapon, also called painkiller. It's a good metaphor for the game as a whole. There is an undeniable sense of temporal collision, since traversing the many incredible realms of the game will take you through many epochs of human history, usually at the same time.

Each successive level of Painkiller builds upon the last in intensity and pleasure. It gratifies on many different levels, not only as a first person shooter. Obvious care has been given to the look and feel of the game, so much so that the result is one of the best aesthetic experiences I've had from a computer screen. The challenges of overcoming hordes of enemies are almost secondary to the visual splendor of the imagery. It's easy to believe that the designers are aware of this fact. There are many opportunities both during and at the conclusion of levels to explore; with secret areas and holy relics only accessible when a level is done, the player is forced to do just that.

The whole aspect of Painkiller tantalises as it presents a state of reality where history has accrued and folded over itself. Consequently you have a tempest of anachronisms as WWI-era infantry mingle with sadistic soldiers that look straight out of William S Burroughs' dystopian novel, The Wild Boys. A palace from the Golden Age of Islam resides next to a Medieval cathedral, the stained glass of which is decorated not with saints but Pan and Astaroth. Cold War nuclear terror rises up to cast a shadow over the Reichstag battleship Bismarck. Kabuki-masked samurai commit seppuku at the heart of a chemical plant. The mash of these elements and many more lend unprecedented thrills.

Heaven's Hitman 2

Taking a close look at the surroundings and creatures inhabiting them, there is visible a kind of acid-washed texture that grows over everything like moss, as if they were bathed in angry time and rotting at the touch. It seems wrong, terribly wrong. And given the premise of the game, nothing could be more appropriate.

When you talk about first person shooters, it is impossible to go without mentioning the mother of them all, Doom. Like Doom, Painkiller gains a certain frisson by incorporating demonic elements into its narrative. Rather than a gung-ho Marine, however, now you are enlisted by Heaven to route a massing army of demons in Purgatory. Things go a step further than Doom, where the realms were invented and fantastic; in Painkiller you recognise too well where you are and this creates a more resonant experience.

Because the settings are familiar, there have been complaints that Painkiller takes liberty with religious iconography. This argument doesn't stand up under scrutiny. Painkiller is no evangelical tool and is clearly not intended to convey an interpretation of religious experience. If there is a subtext at all -and I'm not saying there is, it is a game after all- it is not religious but political. You cannot play Painkiller to completion without being made aware of a bias, but it is one that has little to do with spirituality and seems more rooted in a deep sense of humanity.

Painkiller is stunning to look at, so much so that there are times I feel lost in a fresco. It's blessed by tremendous soundscapes as well, equal parts terror and serenity. Gameplay is easy and logical; weapons are very effective; movement is fluid (though I do wish you could crouch!). A lot of thought went into the creatures and the result is AI that has lots of character and unexpected humor in it. Overall, I have to say Painkiller is the best game to come out in a long time; not only is it fun to play once, it improves the more you revisit it.

But don't take my word for it. Play for yourself and see!

Reviewer's Score: 10/10, Originally Posted: 04/20/04

http://www.gamefaqs.com/pc/534813-painkiller/reviews/review-72254

Defend Blog Castle!

I had a dream this morning that my blog was a castle and it was under siege. Soldiers with carbines and shoulder-rockets came in waves, putting my defenders to the test. We withstood the assault, but barely.

When I complained to a friend about it, he gave this memorable advice: "Fortify your keep. Just add an XML moat and some hypertext ramparts."

The dream struck me as having a videogame reality about it -that is to say, something abstract was under attack by artificial intelligence. My blog was represented as a castle, and the waves of combatants were steered by a single source, malicious software that invested the AI with a single purpose: demolish the target!

To my mind, it isn't a stretch to envision something like this being possible. Take Second Life forward a couple generations and rather than stores and clubs, the structures could be personal milieus, caches of data belonging to one person including email accounts, banking and credit card information, as well as social network passwords and codes for your blog: in a few years (if not sooner) I could see my dream actualized into Blog Castle.

The metaphor is apt. Security concerns are rampant. Only last week the alarm was raised when hackers infiltrated thousands of passwords at popular email providers. Who wouldn't want something like a castle bristling with defenders to protect their online data?

What I find curious is that in the dream it was specifically Blog Castle under assault. Anything else contained therein was only implied. Do I have an unconscious notion of my blog as being a precious commodity? Only my therapist can say for sure, and as soon as I find one, I'll let you know what they say. It does invite speculation, though. What other type of metaphor might apply?

Blog as sinking ship leaps to mind. Posts keep it afloat and if neglected the ship starts a slow descent to the depths (as represented here by one of the more memorable images from a real videogame, Painkiller). One day you might log on only to find that your blog has vanished into the notorious fathom packets, where all obsolete data is translated to permanent cold storage. Might add a sense of urgency, wouldn't you say?

Gamer DNA

Following a friend's example, here is the evidence of my gamer DNA as it has developed over the years, from the humble origins of Atari 2600 to the latest, greatest offering for XBOX 360:

Adventure was where it all started for me, a deceptively simple D&D quest complete with roaring dragons!

Anybody worth their spit at school had already beaten Pitfall within days of its release, the first offering from still-dominant game publisher Activision. Honorable Mentions: Yar's Revenge, Breakout

All my paper route money was regularly blown at the arcade, and who can say how many quarters I fed into Defender? Honorables: GORF, Major Havoc, Mr Do, TRON, Robotron, Rush'n Attack, Double Dragon

Early bonding occurred with Karateka with someone who remains near and dear -that's the magic of videogames, they are the ties that bind. Honorables: Wolfenstein, ZORK (You have been eaten by a grue)

Same friend, next gen: Treasure of Monkey Island was my obsession forever. The challenge of winning insult duels proved more than I could resist.

The First Person Shooter revolution, begun by immortal Doom. This also served as my intro to LAN parties, which meant a lot of sleepless weekends! Honorables: Marathon, Metal Gear Solid, Dark Forces

It's hard to estimate how influential Grand Theft Auto has been on videogames, and though Vice City was not their first 3D offering, it was like no game seen before. An 80's soundtrack married to shooting and driving? Pure gold, baby. Honorables: Prince of Persia, Jedi Outcast, Rez

Personal favorite: Painkiller. You are a soul blasting his way through Purgatory to be reunited with your lost love, with a dizzy array of amazing weapons and featuring some of the most beautful levels (snatched right out of history) to ever grace a desktop. The final level remains untopped for excellence.
Honorables: FarCry, Katamari Damacy

For storytelling, character development, and overall satisfaction, Half Life 2 simply has no equal. Honorables: Knights of the Old Republic, Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory, Black

Still humming right along at an XBOX near you, Fallout 3 has set new standards for RPGs and sandbox gaming. It continues to thrill and amaze with action, humor and pathos, all in equal doses. Honorables: Bioshock, Dead Rising, Assassin's Creed, Call of Duty 4