How to get Published?!?

With this manuscript of mine and a vow to sell it next year come hell or high tide, I wonder what are the best ways to pursue this goal. I've been told to definitely post chapters online and to definitely not post them online; some say get an agent first, but others advise going straight to the publishers and getting an agent only after the manuscript is sold. With this month set aside for strategies just how I'm going to get this sucker bought, I'm asking anyone reading this to offer any tips that might have worked for you or an author you know. Anything is helpful, I'm an ignorant cuss when it comes to stuff like this.